I used to love taking photos. No, it's not so true. Now i still love taking photos. I love nature, beauty, colours, images, emotions... but if you give me a camera i dont know what to do with it anymore. I dont know where and what i can take a photography, i even dont have any idea in my head. Suddenly, when i have a camera in my hand, i am so empty.
Maybe, the problem is in my mind. I have imprisoned myself around narrow place for a long time. Oh, no it doesnt mean clearly "narrow", i intent to say "narrow real place". I'm lazy for wandering around, i'm afraid to meet and talk to people, and sometimes i feel uncomfortable when they're around. I only find out inspirations by closing my eyes and drifting in the place where is far, far away from reality, the place that i dont know its name. When my eye opens, my mind fall down to earth, i watch around then nothing can impress me, everything continues bore me to death.
I hate reality but i also hate romanticism. I guess it ruins me as fast as everything real. It's so pretentious and ornate that makes no sense. I wish i could know exactly what i want. Sometimes, it's feel like i want so many things that i need to try to get, but another times, i nearly dont want to do whatsoever, i want to give up everything, want to rest my head in the clouds and let things flow in the way they may.
Back to the matter i talked on the first paragraph, taking photo or not taking photos anymore is not important, the main thing i should do now is finding the right way to walk in. But where is the right way? I dare say, if one day i find it out, i dont have strength and energy to walk anymore...
