now baby what've you done to your hair?

now my hair's shorter than ever. if you see me on my back, i'm exactly like a boy. yes, i'm addicted to hair-cut. it seems everytime my hair is cut, i feel younger, refreshing and become a new me.

people always look at me like i'm from another planet. i'm maybe unusual. i'm maybe strange to their eyes. but ordinary bores me. routine bores me. waking up every day, every month with old me, old ways bores me to death. so i need to change my moods, my appearance, my feelings always and always.

in my view, short hair is very suitable for me, for my outfits and my characteristic. But i have let my hair short for 3 years, is it the time to grow it long?

Wear your eyes as dark as night
Paint your face with what you like
Wear your love like it is made of hate
Born to destroy and born to create
Now baby, what've you done to your hair?
Is it just the same time of year
When you think that you don't really care?
Now baby, what have you done to your hair?

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."
Sylvia Plath

...but it won't save me

Love will save you when the ocean splits itself in two
Love will save you when the cold wind blows right through you
Love will save you when the poison eats the precious air
And love will save you from the snake that crawls around down there
But it won't save me

Love will save you from the evil and the greed of ignorant men
And love will save you from the guilt you feel when youbetray your only friend
Love will save you from yourself when you lose control
And love will save you from all the lies your lover ever told you
But it won't save me

Love will save you from the truth when you think you're free
Love will save you from the cold light of boring reality
Love will save you from the corruption of your lazy-minded soul
And love will save you from your selfish and distorted goals
But it won't save me

Love will save you from the black night and the lightning and the ghost
Love will save you from your misery, then tie you to the bloody post
Love will save you from the hands that pull you down beneath the sea
Love may save all you people, but it will never, never save me
No it won't save me

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year..."
— Pamela Redmond Satran

summer's end

Người ta đã từng nói về ngôi nhà gỗ nhỏ trên sười đồi màu xanh. Nơi ấy hai người đã yêu nhau suốt mùa hè. Họ đến đó từ bao giờ chẳng ai biết nữa...

Ở sười đồi đó, nơi cỏ trải dài xa tít tắp, họ đã hôn nhau. Nụ hôn ngọt mướt và ẩm ướt như những dòng suối âm ỉ chảy men theo sườn đồi, dọc theo những phiến đá. Nụ hôn lấp lánh ánh sáng của những tia nắng xuyên qua vòm lá khi mặt trời vừa mới rạng. Nụ hôn có vị của nước mưa, chảy lênh láng trên lưỡi và làn môi. Nụ hôn có mùi thơm nồng nồng của cỏ dại và đất ẩm sau mưa.
Họ hôn nhau dịu dàng lúc bình minh. Hôn nhau bình yên khi mặt trời vừa đứng trên đỉnh đầu. Hôn nồng nàn khi hoàng hôn buông xuống. Và khi màn đêm kéo về họ hôn nhau cuồng dại, giống như hai con ngựa hoang lao mình vào bóng tối...

Ở sườn đồi đó, giữa ngôi nhà gỗ màu trắng tinh khôi, họ đã cuộn vào nhau. Những tiếng thì thầm thổn thức hòa lẫn vào tiếng mưa tí tách rơi trên phiến lá. Đêm mùa hè ở đây lúc nào cũng rạo rực và say nghiêng ngả như một ly rượu nồng. Cũng có những lúc tất cả dường như đứng yên, cả thời gian cũng ngưng đọng lại để nghe tiếng đêm rì rầm cùng nhịp thở.

Ở sườn đồi đó, tình yêu tràn đầy và sóng sánh. Tình yêu tự do như những cơn gió hoang hoải. Tình yêu rạng rỡ, huy hoàng như vệt ánh sáng vắt qua vòm trời màu xanh. Tình yêu đau đớn như tiếng mưa cứa vào sỏi đá lúc đêm khuya.

Ở sườn đồi đó, hai người trôi về phía nhau, hòa tan vào nhau để rồi lại tan rã ra thành hàng ngàn mảnh tinh thể không màu, không dáng vẻ, không mùi vị bay lửng lơ trên tầng không khí...

Từ đó, chẳng còn ai nhắc đến ngôi nhà gỗ nhỏ trên sườn đồi màu xanh. Từ đó, mùa hè cũng kết thúc...

"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?

I don't know."

Paulo Coelho