morning.
i woke up with the sound of the rain pouring down from the great height. my eyes still closed and my mind filled with memories. i remembered the land of my childhood and the people who walked into my life and left their footprints there. i recollected all the things had passed away.
rain fell. the wind blowed cold. i could imagine a thousand drops on the ivy. it's like a necklace made by crystal. this image made me feel gently and tranquillized as i was drifting through the soft cloud. for that moment, everything relieved. all my troubles, my boredoms, my worries flowed away with water.
i have walked in the path of life for about 23 years. sometimes my memories come back and agitate my mind, sometimes my expectance of future ruins my present. it means i have never contented about my whole life so far. my desperations keep me away from everyone. sometimes i wish i could go to someplace where noone related to me. but my love for my beloved ones call me back 'cause i still want them to be around with me so much. i dont know what to do, i dont know what to be, i just know nothing...
but life still goes on and on...
"Lord it's a storm and I'm heading to fall
These sins are mine and I've done wrong
I want you to, oh, I just want you to
come on down..."
I can see that sometimes, it seems like forever to walk this path on your own, and people around who are considered 'beloved' never seem able to help you out. Maybe you came in this world alone, like me, with a so-old heart, and it's just getting so hard to wait to be completed before turning into dust?
ReplyDeleteSupposedly no one ever told you how it’s going to be to keep living with this tightly-attached feeling of sorrow. It is a mix of decayed and fresh flavors, and, say, you are not going to enjoy it for too long after the sunset of your latter Life - I can already tell, friend.
I can feel quite a bit sense of empathy. Apparently detachment and frustration constantly come along with my desire for life. Hence I love life yet I hate life and shrink into myself quite so often, too. Being young is craving for life and grappling hard with the most intricate sense of feelings
ReplyDeleteIn fact you are more mature and have more experiences than me, also, I have words that still childish and shallow. But both of us are young and we all may have lots of same feelings...
"In a sense of self in decline...just dangling in my world..It's only an early morning dream. and the whole world will be alright"